Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
