and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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