Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
FUCK WHALES
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
