I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Alive.
So much puke
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
