But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize