There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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