dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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