Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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