I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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