I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I supernannyed him into submission
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
