You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
