I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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