you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize