508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
