Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
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I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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