I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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