the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
