So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
