I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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