I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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