He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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