if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize