Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
