I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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