His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
