porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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