I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
whose ass print is on the piano?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
