I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You're like the curious george of whores
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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