Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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