talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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