So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
