yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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