Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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