i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
