Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
