maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize