remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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