Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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