god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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