I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
