arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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