I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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