we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
