i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
