It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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