The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
