so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize