So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
