Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
