she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
