This girl is more easily done than said...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i was born a porn star she said
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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