I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize