SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
