1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
