i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
