She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't EVER smell your tampon
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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