It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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