Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
