Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This baby is an asshole
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
