So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's the barista slut.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
