i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
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I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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