you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
