Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize